Spend some time online (Facebook, any comment section) and you’ll notice a lot of negativity. More than negativity you’ll notice a lot of unkindness. Heck, you’ll find some flat out jerks. The obvious reason this happens is because it’s easy to spout off or be rude from the safety of a keyboard. In person, most of these key board warriors would edit themselves to a much greater extent. How about driving in heavy traffic? Ever noticed any anger or meanness there? The fact is, we have all been on the receiving end and the giving end of unkindness in our lives. The question becomes: do we want this to continue? If we don’t, then what are we doing about it? This is so key to quality of our lives and our relationships. It is also related to our health. Being kind and giving improves our well being.
The Making Caring Common (MCC) Project is a endeavor of the Harvard Graduate School of Education. They ask a really interesting question: are we raising nice kids? Are we raising caring kids? They offer resources, tips, info, and guides for parents, educators, and caregivers to help raise kids that are caring and ethical. Their website is: Harvard.edu/making-caring-common. I think the info they give is great for helping kids, but even if you never deal with kids, the info could be applied to an adult too, in my opinion. Here are 5 tips that they shared for raising kind kids:
1) Make caring for others a priority. This sounds like commonsense, but too often we focus on achievements and goals first and foremost. Even to the extent of putting ourselves ahead of others. If we want kindness to be a priority, then make it so….focus on success, sure, but not in place of others.
2) Provide opportunities to be a caring person. We all understand that “practice makes perfect”, but too often we limit this idea to stuff like sports. The same can be true of the ways we act. We need to practice kindness, in order to make it the natural response. This can mean volunteering, helping out at home, or at school. The point is that we have to help kids have kindness and their first response.
3) Be a strong mentor and role model. This is obvious right? Walk the walk. If we want some type of behavior out of our kids, then let’s show them the way, with our own lives.
4) Expand your child’s circle of concern. We all care about our friends and families. Yet, the world is a big old place. Improving the world then, hinges on people caring about more then ourselves and beginning to have the understanding that our actions affect others.
5) Help children learn self-control and manage feelings effectively. Why do we have moments where we are less kind then we should be? Usually, it reflects our own issues or bad moments. I know I am much more likely to be a jerk, if I’m having a bad day. This seems to be true for most of us. In terms if kids, we need to help them learn to deal with bad days and to not let those times change how the act towards others.
The MCC is a great resource, if interested you should check it out. There is never a time when being more kind is a bad idea. Conversely, we all have times, where need more kindness from someone else. My hope for all of us is that we find health and happiness. It seems that kindness in our lives is a very good first step for our kids and our selves.
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