The Unhappiness of Being

I often times make observations and write about them to encourage others, but also to remind and encourage myself. Our staff at Crossroads are just like you: we’re all figuring out life as we go.
Something I want to figure out is why so many people spend so much time being unhappy. I do this sometimes and if you’re honest, I bet you do too. I became stuck on this idea, this past week.  As I walked through Hannaford at a very busy time I noticed most people looked very unhappy.
Usually, I wouldn’t have paid attention.  I would hurry through the store, bobbing and weaving through the crowds, doing my best running back impression.  That day for some reason, I started looking at people’s faces.  Most folks just looked so angry, so sad, or so frustrated. I began to count, it took nearly people until I saw a smile (and that was an employee).
These faces aren’t limited to a busy grocery, though. Look at the car next to you at your next stoplight pause. Think of your friends and family. People are tired, unhappy, overstretched mentally, physically, financially, and time wise.
We have too many people, leaving too much life on the table. So many, spend so much time waiting for life to begin, that happiness and goals and hope become the background. We take our wants and replace them with “have-to’s”.  I’m asking all of us to forget that and step up.  If you aren’t happy, change it. If you aren’t happy, you are the only one responsible to rectify the situation.  Your happiness isn’t dependent on outside sources, other people’s opinions, money, or anything else. Bigger house, better car, etc will not make you happy. Some of the happiest cultures in the world are the poorest.
Here is my advice: create your definition of happiness and create it. Seriously.  Don’t take “no” for an answer.  Either from others or yourself.  You will be your biggest obstacle. You may think you can’t make the changes needed, You don’t have the time or ability. Maybe later, you’ll think.  Excuses, excuses, excuses,  It’s time we all stop making them and accepting them.
For me happiness is time, family, faith, and health.  If any of these suffer, I will be less happy.  So I have to cut all that interfere with these.  I have to protect myself from too many obligations that would rob my time. Thus, I have to work on using the word “no”.  I have to use the time created by avoiding extra obligations to enjoy my wife and kids. I have to prioritize the habits that connect me to my faith (prayer, study, Bible). Lastly, I have to protect my health. If this fades the rest goes bad, quickly. So, I have to sleep enough, exercise, eat healthier foods, and get adjusted. If I fail on these pillars of health, then I cannot enjoy life. These are my mandatory items for happiness. I don’t always follow them, but I’m working towards 100% adherence.
We, at Crossroads, are thankful for all of you and want total joy and happiness for your lives.  Let us know, if we can assist, but truly it starts with you.  Pick your path and do it.  We are seriously pulling for you.
In Health, Dr. Graham

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