Making Caring Common

Oh, 2020.  Thank you, for the weirdest back to school season in recent memory.  Is your school remote learning, a hybrid, or full time with a whole new host of restrictions? Anyway about it, we all want what’s best for our kids.  We want them to be happy, healthy, and successful.  We want them to have dreams and goals and to find the best life possible. We often see school as the bridge to the life they want or need. But is it? We worry about test scores, attendance records, and after school activities. We want them to be well read and accomplished. This all makes sense. Yet, are these the most important goals? Are metrics like these the best indicators of a life well lived? 
Enter the Making Caring Common  (MCC) Project. It is an endeavor of the Harvard Graduate School of Education. They ask a really interesting question: are we raising nice kids? Are we raising caring kids? They offer resources, tips, info, and guides for parents, educators, and caregivers to help raise kids that are caring and ethical. Their website is: Harvard.edu/making-caring-common.  I think the info they give is great for helping kids, but even if you never deal with kids, the info could be applied to an adult too, in my opinion. Here are 5 tips they shared for raising kind kids: 
1) Make caring for others a priority.  This sounds like commonsense, but too often we focus on achievements and goals first and foremost. Even to the extent of putting ourselves ahead of others.  If we want kindness to be a priority, then make it so….focus on success, sure, but not in place of others.
2)  Provide opportunities to be a caring person.  We all understand that “practice makes perfect”, but too often we limit this idea to stuff like sports. The same can be true of the ways we act. We need to practice kindness, in order to make it the natural response. This can mean volunteering, helping out at home, or at school.  The point is, we have to help kids have kindness as their first response.
3) Be a strong mentor and role model.  This is obvious right? Walk the walk.  If we want some type of behavior out of our kids, then let’s show them the way with our own lives.
4) Expand your child’s circle of concern.  We all care about our friends and families. Yet, the world is a big place with a lot more people.  Improving the world then, hinges on people caring about more then ourselves and beginning to understand that our actions affect others.  
5) Help children learn self-control and manage feelings effectively.  Why do we have moments where we are less kind then we should be? Usually, it reflects our own issues or bad moments. I know I am much more likely to be a jerk, if I’m having a bad day. This seems to be true for most of us.  We need to help our kids learn to deal with bad days and to not let those times change how they act towards others.
The MCC is a great resource, if interested you should check it out.  There is never a time when being more kind is a bad idea.  Conversely, we all have times, where need more kindness from someone else.  My hope for all of us is that we find health and happiness. It seems that kindness in our lives is a very good first step for our kids and for ourselves. This does not mean that traditional markers of success are worthless, but if we are successful, yet lack human decency, love, and kindness; was it worth it?


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