Do you complain? No, seriously, do you? I think we all know the obvious answer: yes, we complain. We complain early and often. I’m not judging. I do it, too. I’ve just come to conclusion for myself, and perhaps you will feel this way about yourself, too: I need to complain less. I mean, honestly, we complain when it’s too hot, too cold, too much snow, too many black flies, about our spouses/partners, out kids, our jobs, traffic, and on the list could go. Why do we do this? Partly, to vent, to be heard, and partly out of habit. Here is the problem, though: it’s not healthy. 2017 is underway and many of us used the new year as a chance to reset our lives via resolutions. Have you ever considered making a resolution to be positive or to stop complaining? You may want to consider it, because the implications for your health may be huge!
In the 2012 book, “Three Simple Steps”, British author Trevor Blake makes the claim that 30 minutes of exposure to negativity such as complaining peels neurons away from the hippocampus. The hippocampus is the part of your brain used for solving problems. Meaning that if you “peel away” neurons your hippocampus won’t be as effective. Blake says, “….it turns your brain to mush”. Let’s just draw out the implication, Mr. Blake is making: exposure to complaining (via listening to it and doing it) physically damages your brain.
Moreover, some research has indicated that complaining and exposure to it, mimics stress effects in the brain. We all know how damaging stress is to almost all aspects of our health, physically and mentally. Stress reduction can be really trick. An “easier said than done” type of deal. Yet, that means we have to limit it where we can and avoiding complaining could be a start.
With all that in mind what should we do about complaining and complainers?
1) Change your perspective. It’s easy to complain about small stuff. It’s even easier to complain about big stuff like work, finances, or relationships. Yet, if you think about times in your life where you’ve experienced real stress or real tragedy, you probably stopped complaining about traffic and the weather. When we lose a loved one or get a scary diagnosis ourselves, you don’t worry about your bank account or your broken cell phone. The point here, I think is this: save the complaining for the real stuff and stop sweating the small stuff. Enjoy your life and enjoy all the days that have no real problems. Those days are blessings. There will be enough bad days in our lives, let’s not make the mundane ones bad, too.
2) Recognize there are positive complaints. Most complaints are pointless and negative, but what if you’ve been truly wronged. What if you’re the victim of a crime, fraud, or a bad product? These may be cases where logging a complaint can protect your interests or safety. The key here is to make your complaints goal and outcome oriented and not just for the sake of complaining. We need to save this type of complaining for when it is needed and not use it all the time.
3) Avoid chronic complainers. If you are continually exposed to complainers, there are indications, that it will turn you into a complainer as well. Basically, exposure creates habit. If you find yourself with a chronic complainer, avoid them and if they are unavoidable, do your best to shut out the complaining. If you happen to be the chronic complainer, then break that habit for yourself and the good of others around you.
